Mommy Friends

I have got to be the luckiest mommy on the planet. When I was on mat leave with my son, now four, I had a couple of close friends who had also had babies at the same time. But big hot guy had just finished his Phd, and we were waiting for the best job my brilliant rocket scientist could get. So, we lived in an apartment in a very swanky part of town and didn't have a car. I walked everywhere I could because negotiating public transit in Toronto with a giant stroller does not a good day make so I needed to find some friends in my area. Friends to have coffee with, walk with and talk with. But, when you're long out of university and have worked the same job for many, many years, it's not easy to make new friends. People you can really connect with. It actually brings up old insecurities and the anxiety you feel the first day of highschool, wanting to find people who will like you. And who are just like you. I trolled parks, coffee shops and drop in centres, but in that pricey neighbourhood, I ended up meeting mostly nannies. Lovely women, but not quite whom I was looking for.

I finally met a group of moms, and though we hung out every week and enjoyed each other's company, there was only one woman I have kept in touch with. Luckily, we now live on the same street, and if it weren't for that klatch of moms, I wouldn't have met her.

But when I went on mat leave with my daughter, I just happened to do it at the same time as a few very close friends and my very bestest friend in the world. Plus, my mom, who I count as one of my dearest friends, lives around the corner from me and is great fun to hang out with. It has been amazing. These women know me through and through. I never have to explain myself or apologize for anything; they get me. And I get them. I fiercely love them all.

But there is one mom who is new to me. A mom I happened to meet on the street when my baby girl was only two weeks old, and she has become one of the first people I'd call if I needed something. We have walked for hours together, sharing our lives and the love of our children, and I trust her completely. This woman, whom I would never have met if not for the very cute sunhat my daughter was wearing and she asked about, is someone I would leave my children alone with and would know they were getting the best care.

As we get older, it's hard to invite new people into sharing our lives. But if we do open the door, we may find someone incredibly special and wonderful. It just takes a little trust and the natural instincts that being moms has given us.